What Food Means To Me

I don’t think it dawned on me until earlier this year quite how important the role of food is in my life. It was always destined to be that way. I come from a whole lineage of incredible home cooks. My mum, a former British Airways stewardess, quit her job to pursue her passion for cooking by starting a catering company. My estranged father trained at catering college and went on to work predominantly in the food industry. My grandma makes the best roast dinner you’ll ever consume. Food, for us all, has always been the glue that has held everything together, even at rocky times.

Looking back, nearly all my most prominent childhood memories are centred around mealtimes. My school days were filled with envious friends as they gazed longingly at my extravagant packed lunches. All family occasions have always involved a meal of epic proportions, be it at home or at a restaurant. Holidays and getaways always had us seeking out foodie hotspots and hours strolling around food markets; something that back then I would roll my eyes at having to do but is something I do happily now I’m an adult myself. Christmas meals are a gastronomic experience – easily the best meal of the year. When I was 10, my parents bought me a course at Le Petit Cordon Bleu where I learnt to bake an exquisite chocolate yule log. At a young age, I had eaten at restaurants that many adults would be exceptionally envious of. It doesn’t escape me that I am exceptionally fortunate to have had the gift of an educated palette at such a young age and it’s something I will be forever grateful to my parents for.

My teen years were particularly turbulent (something I’ve talked about on my old blog if you’re curious). But the one thing that kept us all grounded and held us together through difficult times was food. I often refer to the kitchen being my church and cooking my therapy – looking back I can imagine that’s how my mum felt back then. The outpouring of love that has always been felt in every dish she makes (her clients attest to this too) is beyond just a talent for cooking. The special ingredient to any great meal is always heart and soul – my mum’s skills are testament to that and I like to think that’s something I’ve mastered too. I remember the night my dad walked out on us. I was 18 and had just started university. It was a bitterly cold January night and after weeks of indulgent food, we opted for a Chinese takeaway from The Good Earth. The food had arrived amidst the chaos that had ensued in the house. My dad left and Mum vehemently made my sister and I sit down and eat; following her mantra that no good ever comes from an empty stomach. I don’t think any of us really ate much that evening but that meal was symbolic for me. It marked a new chapter for all of us and the end of years of instability. Coping through the months after that was largely down to continuing to eat great food. Mum taught us then just how restorative a home cooked meal or a homemade slice of cake and a cuppa on the side could really be. We’ve had our ups and downs since then but food has continued to be the thing that brings us together.

Back when I lived with mum, I didn’t cook all that much. Her kitchen was her space and cooking in it often meant that I would have her over my shoulder telling me what to do. One day I might live to regret not listening and learning from her more but for me, it’s always been important that I find my own feet in the kitchen, making my own mistakes and honing my skills at my own pace. I want to make my own mark on food. The past few years, in particular, have been particularly formative for this. As I’ve juggled the trials and tribulations of being a twenty/thirty-something, cooking has been my centre.  Much like my mum, I love nothing more than to feed people and see joy sparked in the friends that eat my food. I can’t really describe the feeling I get from it but having the ability to cook to a level that induces that elation, is something I’m infinitely proud of.

I watch every foodie documentary/programme under the sun and one of my favourites is Netflix’s Chef’s Table. I watched an episode recently with the formidable Asma Khan who eloquently articulated her experience with cooking in a way that’s far superior to anything I could concoct – “the smells, the aromas, the actions. It has a rhythm to it. It’s the beat that hits you in the heart and you hear it again and again. And in the end it all becomes this beautiful, magical song.” That’s what cooking does for me. It’s wonderfully comforting and as Asma said, I think it’s largely down to the rhythm cooking creates.

I was asked recently what I’m passionate about aside from my work and I stumbled on that question. I went away to give it some thought and my mind kept coming back to food. When I think about what I want to learn more about, what I want to continue experiencing as much as I can, there’s really only one answer. And that’s largely why I’ve reinvigorated my blog because putting my words out there in the world, sharing the experiences I have with food, having an audience to take along with me, gives me an accountability to dedicate time into the one thing that I love the most. And I can’t wait to continue that journey with you all.